General musings and rants from Your Home Town Morning Show...
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Jaden Smith confronted President Obama over a very important issue during a visit to the White House last month -- extraterrestrials.
As part of the Easter celebrations, Barack Obama gave Jaden and his dad WillSmith a tour of the White House. In an interview with BBC Radio 1, the Men in Black star said, "The night before Jaden had said to me, 'Dad, I got to ask the president about the aliens.' I was like, 'Dude, no.' It's not cool. It's embarrassing."
But when they entered the Situation Room, Jaden made his move against his father's wishes. Will said, "Jaden gets the look in his eyes and he leans over and says, 'Dad, what's my punishment?' And I was like, 'Jaden, do not.' And...Jaden says, 'Excuse me, Mr. President.' I was like, 'Hey, Barack, man...' And Barack said, 'Don't tell me.' And in perfect form, and this is why he's the president, he stopped and looked at Jaden and said, 'The aliens, right?'"
Then, according to Smith, the president told the 13-year-old: "'I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of extraterrestrials, but I can tell you if there had been a top-secret meeting and if there would have had to have been a discussion about it, it would have taken place in this room.'"
The second masseur who accused John Travolta of sexual battery has followed in the footsteps of the first masseur and dropped his lawsuit against the actor. He has also hired attorney Gloria Allred.
Allred, who now represents both masseurs, said in a statement yesterday (Thursday) that the case might not be over. "We believe that the lawsuit should be filed in another court and, therefore, the lawsuit was dismissed without prejudice. We will be conferring with our client regarding what will happen next in this case."
Both unidentified men claim Travolta made unwanted sexual advances during massage sessions and both were seeking $2 million each in punitive damages.
Despite the sudden withdrawals, Travolta's lawyer, Marty Singer, tells TMZ, "Not one penny has been paid nor do we have any intention to pay any money for these ridiculous and false claims."
HE SAYS “A NEW POLL FOUND THAT MITT ROMNEY IS ACTUALLY AHEAD OF PRESIDENT OBAMA AMONG FEMALE VOTERS. THAT EXPLAINS OBAMA’S NEW SLOGAN ‘I’M BARACK OBAMA, AND I LOVED ‘50 SHADES OF GREY”…
IT WON'T BE SMOOTH SAILING FOR THE EXPENSIVE MOVIE “BATTLESHIP” THIS WEEKEND -- PRE-RELEASE TRACKING SURVEYS INDICATE “THE AVENGERS” —IN ITS 3rd WEEKEND, WILL DOMINATE AGAIN: THE L.A. TIMES PREDICTS IT’LL BE #1 WITH ABOUT $50 MILLION, WHILE "BATTLESHIP"—WHICH COST UNIVERSAL PICTURES $209 MILLION TO PRODUCE—IS ONLY EXPECTED TO OPEN TO A SO-SO $40 MILLION – BUT THE STUDIO WAS SMART: IT’S BEEN PLAYING FOR MORE THAN A MONTH IN 60 FOREIGN TERRITORIES, WHERE IT’S ALREADY MADE $215 MILLION – ACCORDING TO ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY "FOREIGN MOVIEGOERS LOVE THESE BIG-BUDGET FILMS AND WE JUST CAN'T MATCH THEM IN TERMS OF TICKET SALES ANYMORE. ANOTHER BENEFIT OF OPENING OVERSEAS FIRST IS THAT IT CAN OVERCOME THE NEGATIVE BUZZ THE MOVIE HAD -- NOW IT’LL OPEN IN THE U.S. WITH A FULL HEAD OF STEAM: WON’T MATTER, IT’LL STILL BE SUNK BY “AVENGERS”
BY NOW YOU’VE HEARD ABOUT THE SAD PASSING OF DONNA SUMMER, OR AS SHE’S ALWAYS REFERRED TO (QUOTE) “DISCO QUEEN DONNA SUMMER” – SHE HATED THAT LABEL – SHE ALWAYS CONSIDERED HERSELF A SINGER, BUT BACK THEN THERE WAS NO “AMERICAN IDOL” OR THE
MANY COPYCAT SHOWS THAT COULD’VE EXPOSED HER PHENOMENAL VOICE -- SO SHE TOOK WHATEVER BREAK SHE COULD GET, TRAVELING FROM HER BIRTHPLACE IN BOSTON TO GERMANY, WHERE SHE WAS DISCOVERED IN A TRAVELING COMPANY OF THE MUSICAL “HAIR”
-- BUT A WORD ABOUT DISCO – ROCK FANS WERE TOO DIM TO REALIZE IT AT THE TIME, BUT FROM TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE, IT’S OBVIOUS THAT DISCO WAS A TRANSITIONAL PHASE TO GET TO THE KIND OF DANCE MUSIC THAT RULES THE WORLD TODAY – [THE ANTI-DISCO MOVEMENT REACHED THE POINT WHERE SO-CALLED “DISCO” RECORDS WERE PUBLICLY DESTROYED] – BUT IF DONNA SUMMER WAS ANYTHING, SHE WAS A GIFTED ROCK SINGER: “BAD GIRLS" WAS HER TRIBUTE TO THE WORLD’S OLDEST PROFESSION -- AND MAYBE HER BEST SONG "SHE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY" IS ABOUT AN EVEN OLDER OCCUPATION: UNDERPAID WOMEN DOING THE KIND OF THANKLESS, TEDIOUS JOBS TO MAKE ENDS MEET – IT’S BASED ON A TRUE STORY -- DONNA WAS HAVING DINNER ONE NIGHT AT THE UPSCALE RESTAURANT CHASEN’S -- WHEN SHE TOOK A QUICK BATHROOM BREAK SHE NOTICED THE ATTENDANT WAS SOUND ASLEEP – DONNA’S ENTRANCE WOKE HER UP – THE WOMAN TOLD HER SHE WORKED TWO JOBS AND WAS “ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED” – DONNA SAID “I THOUGHT TO MYSELF ‘WOW, SHE REALLY WORKS HARD FOR HER MONEY" – THAT SAME NIGHT WHEN SHE GOT HOME, SHE WROTE THE SONG IN 20 MINUTES – SHE WAS NO “DISCO QUEEN”, SHE WAS A MAJOR TALENT…
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Thursday 5/17
If you want to experience Blake Shelton'senergy, music and hilarity in the comfort of your own living room, you now have that option. Blake's Live: It's All About Tonight DVD is available exclusively through Walmart. In addition to live performance footage, the package includes his videos for "Honey Bee" and "God Gave Me You."
Jennifer Lopez tops Forbes magazine's Celebrity 100 list. With $52 million in earnings over the past year, the America Idol judge unseats Lady Gaga, who topped the list last year. The singer sinks to fifth place this time around with $52 million in earnings, down from $90 million last year.
The list isn't based only on money. Fame, including the star's presence on social media, is also considered. Oprah Winfrey came in second followed by JustinBieber. Kim Kardashian was seventh.
Meanwhile, several outlets are reporting that J. Lo is leaving the show that helped revitalize her career. A source tells Us Weekly that the star has "too much going on right now" for her to return to American Idol.
(For the full Forbes list, go here.)
ROBERT DOWNEY JR HAS A GOOD AGENT -- NOT ONLY DID HE MAKE MORE MONEY THAN ALL HIS CO-STARS IN “AVENGERS”, IT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE – ACCORDING TO THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER, DOWNEY IS SET TO MAKE ABOUT $50 MILLION FROM HIS BONUSES, BACK-END DEALS, AND SALARY – THE REST OF THE CAST GOT $2 MILLION EACH, WITH SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND SAMUEL JACKSON GETTING AROUND $4 MILLION
-- SOME CAST MEMBERS ARE ANGRY ABOUT THE DISPARITY IN PAY, BUT $2 MILLION IS NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT – AND WHILE DOWNEY WAS ALWAYS AN EXCELLENT ACTOR, MAYBE THIS MONEY CAN BE SEEN AS HIS REWARD FOR BEATING THE MOST SEVERE DRUG ADDICTION IN RECENT MEMORY – HE WAS BUSTED SO OFTEN, HE ENDED UP DOING A FULL YEAR IN STATE PRISON – PEOPLE FORGET HOW FAR GONE HE WAS – ONE NIGHT HE WAS SO WASTED, HE BROKE INTO SOMEBODY’S HOUSE AND PASSED OUT ON A STRANGER’S BED – THEN WHEN HE FINALLY GOT OUT OF THE SLAMMER, HE HAD TO PROVE HE COULD SHOW UP FOR WORK ON A REGULAR BASIS AND TOOK A JOB ON “ALLY McBEAL” (HE WAS NOMINATED FOR AN EMMY) – “AVENGERS” WILL END UP MAKING BILLIONS – DOWNEY DESERVES EVERY CENT…
ALL REVIEWS FROM ‘DAILY VARIETY’ AND ‘THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER’
· WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING-- (3000 Screens) “BABIES ARE MIRACLES, PREGNANCY CAN BE A PHYSICAL ORDEAL, AND MEN AND WOMEN AREN’T ALWAYS ON THE SAME PAGE OF THE EMOTIONAL GUIDEBOOK — THAT’S ABOUT AS DEEP AS IT GETS. BUT PREDICTABLE LAUGHS WILL LIKELY BE MORE OF AN ENTICEMENT THAN A REPELLENT TO THE MOVIE’S TARGET AUDIENCE.” Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Brooklyn Decker, Chace Crawford, Matthew Morrison, Ben Falcone, Dennis Quaid and Chris Rock. 1 Hour and 50 Minutes. Rated PG-13.
· BATTLESHIP-- (3750 Screens) “OVERLY LONG AND UNDERWRITTEN -- EVEN BY THE STANDARDS OF SUMMER EXTRAVAGANZAS -- THIS ‘BATTLESHIP’ WILL STAY AFLOAT ON THE STRENGTH OF ITS BOYISH, EAGER-TO-PLEASE RAZZLE-DAZZLE.” Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker and Liam Neeson. 2 Hours and 10 Minutes. Rated PG-13.
· THE DICTATOR-- (Now Playing on 3000 Screens) “SACHA BARON COHEN EMPLOYS A COMIC RANGE THAT RICOCHETS BETWEEN WICKED POLITICAL BARBS AND THE LOWEST ANATOMICAL FARCE. WHILE IT WILL PROVE TOO EXTREME FOR A PORTION OF THE MAINSTREAM PUBLIC, COHEN'S FANS SHOULD GENERALLY WELCOME IT TO GOOD BOX OFFICE RETURNS.” Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Jason Mantzoukas, Ben Kingsley, John C Reilly and Megan Fox. 1 Hour and 24 Minutes. Rated R.
· HYSTERIA-- (Limited) “THIS ROMANTIC-COMEDY ABOUT THE INVENTION OF THE VIBRATOR IN VICTORIAN LONDON (1880s) IS TAMER THAN ITS SUBJECT SUGGESTS. IT DELIVERS A TICKLE MORE OFTEN THAN A SUSTAINED BUZZ.” Maggie Gyllenhaal, Hugh Dancy, Jonathan Pryce, Rupert Everett and Felicity Jones. 1 Hour and 39 Minutes. Rated R.
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Wed. 5/16
(WASHINGTON, DC) A technology expert has compiled a list of things that we take for granted, but a child born today will likely never use. For instance, within a decade, it’s predicted that Wi-Fi will be the predominate way to connect with the internet. Same goes with landlines for phones. That’s the quickest way to determine which generation you belong: Grandparents have landlines. Or with the advances in phones, it will be the only device you need for photography and videos. Finally, the movie theater may be out-of-business in less than a generation. Streaming video-on-demand may become the norm for that big screen in your home.
(MIAMI, FLORIDA) New word of the year: “Nomophobia”.
It’s the fear of losing your phone. More than two-thirds of us get an anxiety attack the moment we’ve misplaced our phone. Without it, we feel naked. Even dropping a connection or suffering with a low battery gives us fright. It is called “nomophobia” - or “No Mobile Phone Phobia”. The warning signs are:
Unable to go off to the bathroom without taking your phone
Obsessively checking for missed calls, emails and texts
Constantly topping up your battery life
The next time your friends make fun of you for splurging on a weird spa treatment, make sure they know that it could've been a lot crazier than a chemical peel.
Here are a couple examples of the stranger treatments:
A plant farm in northern Israel offers the full-body snake massage for $70. Bigger snakes will knead the belly or back while smaller ones wiggle around your face.
A wine spa in Japan allows you to swim in hot booze, tea, or coffee. The spa's website notes that green tea is an effective antioxidant, and Cleopatra bathed in wine. As for the coffee spa, it will supposedly "perk up your senses."
Chinese "fire cupping" is said to alleviate many physical problems, including congestion, bad circulation, and menstrual pains. Only problem: It involves lighting fires inside glass bulbs and sticking them to your back. The result resembles a minefield of red bruises." (Newser.com)
Police think someone who may be posing as one of their own is responsible for pulling cars over on Mississippi highways and killing the drivers. The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation is asking for the public's help in finding the suspected killer after two such murders this month.
According to John Champion, district attorney for Mississippi's 17th District, both shootings occurred in remote areas and there haven't been good descriptions of the suspected killer's vehicle.
Authorities are advising drivers to call 911 when they're being pulled over to verify that there's a real officer behind the wheel and also to drive to a well-lit, well-populated public place before stopping. Those actions are permitted under Mississippi law.
Source: CNN
Yawning is contagious. Just not for humans, but dogs, too. In fact, people may instantaneously yawn just by hearing another person do it. Same for dogs. Though they’re 5-times more likely to “catch a yawn” if the pet hears their owner yawning.
Research proves it. Biologists got dogs in the laboratory to yawn by playing recordings of their owners loud yawning. Nearly half of all dogs yawned when played a recording of a complete stranger making such a noise. Biologist Karine Silva said (quote) “These results suggest that dogs have the capacity to empathize with humans”.
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Tuesday 5/15
LAST SUNDAY, 11 MILLION VIEWERS TUNED IN TO SEE THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THE ABC NIGHTTIME SOAP “DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES” – NOW THE QUESTION IS: DO ANY OF THESE ACTRESSES HAVE A NEW CHAPTER IN THEIR CAREERS? -- EVA LONGORIA PROMISES TO REMAIN BUSY BY WORKING FOR THE RE-ELECTION CAMPAIGN OF BARACK OBAMA – ACCORDING TO THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER SHE’S A PRODUCER FOR NBC’S UPCOMING DATING SERIES “READY FOR LOVE” – WORD IS, SHE’S ALREADY TAKEN THE HOTTEST BACHELOR FOR HERSELF
-- TERI HATCHER HAS BEEN DOWNGRADED TO THE CABLE NETWORK “ABC FAMILY” WHERE SHE HAS A 4-EPISODE CONTRACT IN A NEW SERIES – THEY CLEARLY DON’T HAVE MUCH FAITH IN HER -- MARCIA CROSS FIRST BECAME A HOUSEHOLD NAME 20 YEARS AGO ON “MELROSE PLACE” -- SHE TOLD THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER THAT IT’S TIME FOR HER TO FOCUS ON HER FAMILY
-- FELICITY HUFFMAN HAS LAUNCHED A “LIFESTYLE ADVICE” WEBSITE FOR MOTHERS CALLED “WHAT THE FLICKA” – HER HUSBAND, WILLIAM H MACY WHO STARS IN THE SHOWTIME SERIES “SHAMELESS” ADMITS IT’S GOING TO BE A SHOCK TO HAVE TO SURVIVE OFF HIS SALARY, AS COMPARED TO THE MILLIONS FELICITY WAS EARNING ON “HOUSEWIVES”-- MEANWHILE, VANESSA WILLIAMS CONTINUES TO BE ABC’S ANSWER FOR SHOWS THAT NEED RESCUING – SHE STARRED IN “UGLY BETTY” ONLY TO GET PROMOTED TO “HOUSEWIVES” -- AND NOW ABC IS MOVING HER TO THEIR NEWEST SOAP DRAMA “666 PARK AVENUE” – SHE MAY BE THE ONLY ONE WITH A FUTURE…
Carrie Underwood says her husband Mike Fisher is so conservative he doesn't even like to kiss her in public. So how does Mike feel about Carrie showing off her legs in those short skirts? She says, "He knows that even if the skirt's a little short, I would never do anything that my kids would be embarrassed about when they grow up."
(LONDON, ENGLAND) The “World’s Fastest Man” intends on winning more Olympic Gold Medals. Usain Bolt is so serious about it that he’s just dumped his beautiful girlfriend. The sprinter from Jamaica is a 3-time Olympic gold medalist. He owns the World Record in both the 100- and 200-meter dashes.
Bolt explained that, with the Olympics approaching in July, having a girlfriend is too much of a distraction. He needs to focus on Olympic glory, and then he’ll worry about catching a girlfriend later. It was only a few months ago that Lubica Slovak described her relationship with the sprinter as “very much in love”. Though apparently he loves gold medals more than her.
Veterinarians warn people who adopt dogs that the animals will eat almost anything they find. No joke. Among the junk removed in emergency surgeries include gold balls, phones, underwear, kids plastic toys, and fishing lures.
Last year, a 5-year-old black Labrador -- named "Oscar" -- made an emergency trip to the veterinarian's office. He rattled every time he walked. Inside his belly, the doctor found 13 undigested golf balls. It seems Oscar lives near an 18-hole course and has a fetish for golf balls. Oscar's owner told reporters (quote) “He normally brings a few home, but I had no idea he had eaten so many. The doctor opened him up thinking there's be two or three golf balls. But it was like a clown car. They just kept coming until we had a bag full. The vet hadn't seen anything this bizarre.”
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Monday 5/14
If you consider yourself a parent with a sick sense of humor, then do we have the birthday clown for you! He goes by the name of Dominic Deville and he prides himself on being the "Evil Birthday Clown."
For a fee, he'll leave notes for your child all week saying that he or she is being watched and will be attacked when they least expect it. Then, the Evil Birthday Clown -- wearing a very scary mask -- will show up at your party and smash the birthday girl or boy in the face with a cake
This will either be the best day of your child's life ... or the reason they start therapy. .(Huffington Post)
A thug in Florida set the bar pretty high for the next criminal who wants to play Beat the Clock -- by committing a felony just 16 minutes after being released from prison.
Marcus Hunt, who'd been freed after posting bail on charges of fleeing police and driving without a license, was busted just minutes later when he walked up to a man, punched him in the face and drove off on his bicycle. It took just a few more minutes for deputies to find him, so he was back behind bars before the next shift change.
Hunt's last major sentence -- a two year stint -- ended in December of last year.
Source: Tampa Bay Times
A Florida woman had a taste of true love, so she tried to get one more -- by biting a chunk out of her boyfriend's leg when he tried to break up with her.
The 41-year-old woman, who was not identified, was said to be "highly intoxicated" when she ended an argument with her live in beau by dropping to all fours and gnawing on his leg hard enough to draw blood. When he ran, dripping precious fluids, she grabbed a paintball gun and threatened him with that.
Neighbors who heard the commotion called cops, and the woman was arrested on assault and battery charges.
(NWFDailyNews)
Is this too good to be true? Washington University in St. Louis is offering people $3,500 to eat only fast food for three months. Participants can choose from McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, KFC and Pizza Hut. And, they'll be enrolled in a weight loss program when the study finishes -- assuming they survive. (HuffingtonPost.com)
(SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA) Did you receive a Mother’s Day gift that really stinks? It’s perfectly acceptable to “re-gift”. There’s even a day set aside as “National Regifting Day” (December 20th). Psychologists from America and Europe are trying to break the taboo of re-gifting. After all, what they have found is that most people are accepting of the re-gift, even if they are hurt when it’s the gift they gave.
A series of experiments shows that “givers assume recipients can do what they wish with a gift”. It’s the receivers who place restraints on themselves. And when asked their preference about how a gift is used, givers would rather it go to a person who has use for it, rather than sit around collecting dust deep in a closet.
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Friday 5/11
Taylor Swift has contributed a chapter to the book 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30. Her chapter is titled "What 30 Means to Me: Having No Deadlines for Love or Anything Else," and she talks about what her life could be like in her 30s, 40s and 50s. T writes, "I've always wondered what I'll feel like at those ages, and I'll spend a lot of time daydreaming about the future."
She also talks about her favorite song subject -- love. "Being single is what I do, and falling in love is the exception."
It's an understatement to say Blake Shelton is proud to have coached Jermaine Paul, the winner of The Voice. He tells Peoplemagazine, "I don't feel as much proud as I do like one of those girls who was screaming for Justin Bieber and falling apart."
After the big win for his team, Blake Tweeted, "And we arrive to my favorite place. The place where every doubter, critic, hater or simply the ignorers can officially kiss my [behind]."
Mother’s Day is the second-biggest spending holiday -- behind Christmas. The National Retail Federation says the average American will spend over $100 on mom for gifts, flowers and Sunday brunch. But when moms were asked what they secretly wanted for Mother’s Day, the majority said “pampering”. Might we suggest a pedi-manicure. Or consider giving your mom a car wash & vacuum.
(DALLAS, TEXAS) Finding it difficult to shop for Mother’s Day? Psychologists say it’s relatively simple, just as long as you follow a few simple rules. In fact, shopping for your mother is perhaps the easiest. No matter what type of gift you select, she’ll still love you.
It’s Father’s Day you have to worry about. Men are especially picky when it comes to what’s inside a wrapped package. It’d better by fancy, expensive, or exactly what he wished for. Otherwise, men will become disappointed and it might even impact your relationship. Studies have shown how young couples broke up shortly after his birthday because he hated his gift.
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Wed. 5/9
Miranda Lambert just racked up her fourth number one hit, "Over You," a song she co-wrote with her husband, Blake Shelton. While Miranda has written three of her chart toppers, this is Blake's first as a songwriter. Miranda tells us, "He texted me the other day and said, 'Thank you, I've never written a number-one song before' and he's had 11."
Next up for Ran is the song "Fastest Girl in Town" from her Four the Record album.
Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans says it's not her fault that nude photos of her surfaced online this week, a few days after she underwent a boob job.
The 20-year-old says her ex-boyfriend, Kiefer Delp, snapped the photos without her permission while she was loopy on anesthesia and pain medication following the surgery. She tells E! News, "I'm very depressed, but I'll eventually get over it. I just wish I knew who to trust these days.
A 19-year-old Iowa man got bounced from a club for passing off a fake ID, which the doorman had no problem recognizing as a phony -- because it was his!The unnamed bouncer had his wallet stolen in February and reported all of his pertinent papers missing, but that didn't stop Steven Fiorella from trying to use his driver's license to gain entry to the joint. Fiorella insisted he didn't steal the goods, but admitting to buying them for 20 bucks at a party. Cops arrived at the scene and arrested Fiorella for fifth-degree theft and using someone else's identification. (Iowa City Press-Citizen)
CAMERON DIAZ HAS NEVER GIVEN BIRTH, BUT SHE HAS A THEORY ON WHY NEW MOMS GROW “SAGGY BOOBS” (HER WORDS) – ALTHOUGH NO ONE ASKED, AT A PRESS CONFERENCE THIS WEEK, SHE SAID “YOU KNOW WHY BOOBS SAG? WHILE TRAVELING IN AFRICA, I SAW THE WOMEN, AFTER THEY GIVE BIRTH, GO BACK TO WORK 2 HOURS LATER. THEY THROW A BREAST OVER A SHOULDER SO THE KID CAN SUCKLE. THERE’S A FUNCTION FOR SAGGY BOOBS. I JUST WANT YOU GUYS TO KNOW” – THANKS FOR SHARING
OUCH!>>>>
Will Smith wants to give Uncle Sam more of his money.
He tells the A.P. he fully supports President Obama's call for higher taxes on the country's top earners. "America has been fantastic to me. I have no problem paying whatever I need to pay to keep my country growing."
Obama has proposed that everyone earning $1 million a year or more should pay at least 30 percent of their income in taxes. Will was reportedly paid an estimated $20 million forMen in Black III.
CONGRATULATIONS TO JERMAINE PAUL, WHO EDGED OUT THE 3 OTHER FINALISTS LAST NIGHT TO WIN THE 2nd SEASON OF “THE VOICE” – JUSTIN BIEBER WAS THERE TOO, DOING HIS FIRST TV PERFORMANCE OF HIS NEW SONG – BIEBER WAS HYPED UP BY CARSON DALY ALMOST AS MUCH AS THE NEW WINNER – BUT THE REAL ACTION ON THE SHOW WENT ON BEHIND THE SCENES MONDAY – IT’S NO SECRET THAT ADAM LEVINE AND CHRISTINA AGUILERA HAVE A DISLIKE OF EACH OTHER THAT BORDERS ON HATE, AND IT BLEW UP INTO AN EXPLOSIVE FIGHT WHICH LEFT THE SHOW REELING
-- A SOURCE ON THE SET SAID “CHRISTINA FOUND OUT THAT ADAM PLANNED TO HAVE HIS FINALIST, TONY LUCCA, SING “99 PROBLEMS” BY JAY-Z, WHOSE LYRICS INCLUDE “I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AIN'T ONE” – AN INSIDER SAID “ADAM & TONY WANTED TO CALL CHRISTINA OUT AS A BITCH. IT WAS COMPLETELY AIMED AT HER. IT WAS ADAM’S IDEA, BUT TONY LOVED IT”
-- ALTHOUGH CHRISTINA IS A “B” WORD, SHE WAS HIGHLY OFFENDED -- IT ENDED UP THAT NBC TOLD ADAM TO CHANGE THE WORD TO “CHICK” -- BUT ADAM—WHO’S A “B” WORD HIMSELF—WOULDN’T RELENT, CLAIMING THAT CHANGING THE SONG RUINED IT & HE WOULDN’T DO THAT TO TONY – BUT THE BIGGEST BLOWUP CAME DURING THE COACHES’ REHEARSAL FOR ‘FREE YOUR MIND’ – ACCORDING TO THIS WELL-PLACED INSIDER “ADAM WENT RIGHT UP TO CHRISTINA AND SAID ‘YOU’RE THE BIGGEST EFFING C-WORD I’VE EVER MET” – THIS LED TO A COMPLETE HALT IN REHEARSALS
– ADAM THEN LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS TRAILER, LIKE A SPOILED LITTLE BRAT, WHICH THREW THE ENTIRE SET INTO TURMOIL – BUT ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL AND, AT LEAST NOW, ADAM AND CHRISTINA DON’T HAVE TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER AGAIN TIL THIS FALL...
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Tuesday 5/8
(WASHINGTON, DC) Part of “government waste” is to spend money on counting the number of guns in the country. On a regular basis, the “Congressional Research Service” makes the tally.
The most recent count has 294 million guns for the 320 million citizens living in the United States. That’s 100 million more guns than a generation ago. However -- and here’s what’s curious about the numbers -- the actual number of gun-owning households has declined. The ones who already own guns are just buying more.
Along with his number-one hits and music awards, JustinBieber now has a high school diploma.
The 18-year-old tells the U.K.'s Daily Telegraph, "I just finished high school. I passed my test -- I'm free!"
The Bieb admits school wasn't his thing. "I mean, this kind of lifestyle has given me a different perspective on life. I've been able to travel the world. At school, usually you have to do a lot of writing and reading. I'm not really into that stuff. I like to be out there."
Justin adds that he did it for his mother. "(Graduating) was something my mom really wanted me to do, so I had to do it for her."
Tracy Morgan had another health scare Saturday in Denver. The actor was hospitalized for flu-like symptoms and dehydration, according to TMZ. He was treated and released a few hours later. The 30 Rock star, you'll recall, was hospitalized in January after falling unconscious at the Sundance Film Festival.
(LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA) We’re just a couple weeks away from learning who will go home with the Disco Ball on “Dancing with the Stars”. The popular show on ABC got a relationship website thinking: Does it matter if your partner is a good dancer?
The overwhelming majority (62%) believe their lover doesn’t have to be good out on the dance floor – but “they have to dance” (as if no one is watching). A smaller percentage said dancing didn’t make-or-break a relationship. Though slow dancing with the lights down low is always good.
Finally, 8% answered that dancing was mandatory for a relationship to be successful. After all, we know that how a man moves on the dance floor is probably a good judgment of his bedroom skills.
(ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA) This Sunday is Mother’s Day. Don’t get caught flat-footed. Nor do you want to make a mortal mistake and get something that no mother really wants. Sure, when you were younger, she enjoyed your “macaroni art”. But you’ve got to get more creative these days. Just avoid the following bad Mother’s Day gifts:
House cleaning equipment. No matter what the price tag, there’s nothing about a vacuum cleaner that says “I love you mom”.
Kitchen appliances. No bread makers. No Cuisinarts or blenders. She already works hard enough. Don’t guilt her into cooking even more.
Lotions and perfumes. This gift just screams that you slipped by the beauty counters in the mall and grabbed the first item you saw.
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Monday 5/7
Shaquille O'Neal received his doctoral degree in Education from Barry University Saturday. The NBA legend said, "Everyone thinks this is honorary. But this is not honorary. I put in four-and-a-half hard years staying up late at night, studying, reading, rewriting papers Dr. Kopp marked up." Shaq is reportedly considered going to law school next. (via TMZ)
George Lindsey, best known for his portrayal of Goober on the Andy Griffith Show, died Sunday in Nashville after an extended hospital stay. Long time friend Andy Griffith says, "I had great respect for his talent and his human spirit. In recent years, we spoke often by telephone. Our last conversation was a few days ago." Griffith says the last thing he and George said to each other was, "I love you." George Lindsey was 83. --Rosemary Young
A Florida man nearly drove cops bananas after they stopped him for barreling down the road at more than 70 miles per hour -- only to find him drunk as a skunk ... and accompanied by a monkey! Eugene Kotelman blew past a trooper's checkpoint without seeing the cruiser, but did pull over without incident. When he did, the deputy found him to be extremely inebriated, with a small monkey riding shotgun. Kotelman, who has a lengthy record peppered with DUI convictions, was ordered held on $5,000 bond. The monkey was not charged, and was turned over to one of his friends for safe keeping. (Tampa Bay Times)
The OctoMom completed her first day of shooting on her solo porn video -- and according to TMZ, "Things couldn't have gone better." The gossip blog says Nadya Suleman appeared "nervous" when she arrived on set but "after chatting with other porn stars she calmed down." Before the cameras rolled, producers had the bankrupt mother of 14 screen a few X-rated flicks as an "educational tool." A source on the set said, "She was a natural... She looked great!!" Nadya's due back on the set next week.
*“THE AVENGERS" THUNDERED ITS WAY TO BOX-OFFICE HISTORY, ROLLING UP $200.3 MILLION FOR THE BIGGEST THREE-DAY WEEKEND EVER -- AT THE SAME TIME, THE MOVIE ADDED ANOTHER $151 MILLION FROM 52 OVERSEAS TERRITORIES, MAKING THE WEEKEND’S HAUL $642 MILLION IN THE TWELVE DAYS SINCE ITS RELEASE -- THE HUGE OPENING GOT THE SUMMER MOVIE SEASON OFF TO A RAGING START -- IN THE PROCESS, "THE AVENGERS" BLEW PAST LAST YEAR'S "HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2," WHICH HELD THE RECORD FOR THE BEST FIRST-WEEKEND AT $169 MILLION
Miranda Lambert and Ashton Kutcher met again for the first time since last month's Academy of Country Music Awards at a pre-Kentucky Derby party this past weekend and buried the hatchet.
At the ACM show, Ashton, dressed in cowboy gear sang, George Strait's "I Cross My Heart" before presenting Miranda with her award. After the show Miranda tweeted that she thought Ashton was making fun of country music. Ashton tweeted back that he was truly a country music fan and was being sincere. At the Derby party Miranda tweeted a photo of the two of them and wrote, "He is sweet and lives country music! For real!:) and he likes randaritas!"
A little Cinco De Mayo celebrating landed Jake Owen in handcuffs Saturday night in his hometown of Vero Beach, Florida.
Jake posted a photo on Twitter saying, "I just got arrested in my own hometown." Details are sketchy as some tweets have been removed from his feed, but on Sunday he tweeted, "Y'all, I apologize. The Indian River County Sheriff was doing their job. I love my hometown. I had too good of a time on Cinco de Mayo." He went on to apologize to his hometown and family for embarrassing them and says, "I made an immature decision to announce it to the world...I take full responsibility."
(WASHINGTON, DC) Al Qaeda’s “9/11 mastermind” Khalid Sheik Mohammed was one of three terrorist who was waterboarded by the United States. However, CIA interrogator José Rodriguez Junior writes in a new book (Hard Measure) that waterboarding didn’t break Mohammed. He didn’t divulge secrets until they forcibly kept him awake for 180 consecutive hours. One entire week without a wink of sleep. Rodriguez writes (quote) “When Mohammed finally folded, our CIA officers couldn’t get him to stop talking.”
NOW THAT JESSICA SIMPSON IS OFFICIALLY A MOM, IT’S TIME TO ROLL IN THE CASH REGISTER – ACCORDING TO FOX NEWS, SHE’S ABOUT TO GET A FINANCIAL BOOST OF $14 MILLION DOLLARS THIS YEAR ALONE FROM HER DAUGHTER MAXWELL – THE OBVIOUS THING IS TO SELL THE BABY PICTURES TO PEOPLE MAGAZINE FOR A RECORD PRICE – BUT THAT’S NOTHING – HER NAME-BRAND EMPIRE ALREADY GROSSES NEARLY A BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR -- NOW SHE CAN ADD DIAPER BAGS, MATERNITY-WEAR, BABY BLANKETS AND EVERYTHING ELSE…
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Friday 5/4
Everything you know about Cinco de Mayo is wrong. It's not Mexican Independence Day. Instead, it just commemorates the Battle of Puebla, which had the Mexican army beating back the French. They don't even celebrate it in Mexico. And, it's not traditional to do tequila shots on Cinco de Mayo. In fact, you should NEVER do tequila shots. Instead, buy good tequila and sip it slowly. (Forbes)
A Wisconsin fell off the wagon, and straight onto the railroad tracks, where he got slammed by a passing train -- but was so wasted he didn't even realize it! Thomas Boersma had apparently passed out on a set of tracks where he was spotted by the conductor of a freight train, who couldn't stop in time to avoid him. The conductor did manage to stop, but couldn't find Boersma, who ran off after being roused by tons of rapidly moving metal. Boersma, who was described as agitated and combative when found nearby, said he didn't remember any train, and refused medical treatment despite injuries to his arm and buttocks. (Living Lake Country)
Snooki might be the poster child for tanning, but even she knows when enough is enough. The mom-to-be has some harsh words for Tanning Mom Patricia Krenticil, a New Jersey native charged with taking her five-year-old daughter into a tanning booth.
Snooks tells Extra, "That [witch] is crazy... You are not supposed to take kids there. Everyone knows you are NOT supposed to take kids there."
Krenticil was charged last week after her daughter showed up at school with burns. State law prohibits children under the age of 14 from using tanning booths.
Miley Cyrus has a new four-legged friend.
The teen star took in an abandoned puppy, which she found on the street.
On Twitter, she explained, "He was left in a box in front of Walmart. I don't understand how people can be so cruel. That's why we named him Happy."
The pooch joins Miley's dogs Lila and Floyd.
(DANVERS, MASSACHUSETTS) Newlyweds Nancy Guido and Anthony DeIorio-Weiner have escaped the country –- and their families -– for a honeymoon in the Dominican Republic. Police were called to their wedding reception (last weekend) where the party turned into total mayhem because the bartender refused to serve groom’s two under age brothers. Anthony flew into a rage punching a wall and his wife’s brother. Danvers cops showed up to find (quote) “Wedding guests yelling, screaming and rolling around on the ground in a pig pile. At one point, the groom’s mother, Darlene, attacked the bride’s mom.” Clearly demonstrating America’s traditional “family values”.
Police left the chaotic wedding reception with the groom’s mother in the backseat of the squad car. Darlene insists she was only defending her mom and “her family’s good name”. She needs to reflect on that ironic statement.
HERE’S SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO – ON JUNE 7th, FOX TV IS DEBUTING A NEW DATING SHOW – FOUR “CELEBRITY” BACHELORS WILL SIT WITH THEIR BACKS TURNED WHILE LISTENING TO A BUNCH OF POTENTIAL DATES TRYING TO CONVINCE THEM, ONE AT A TIME, TO TURN AROUND -- IF HE LIKES WHAT HE HEARS, THE “CELEBRITY” WILL SPIN HIS CHAIR AROUND TO FACE HIS “CHOICE” – OBVIOUSLY, IT’S A BLATANT RIPOFF OF “THE VOICE”, WHICH FOX OPENLY ADMITTED IN A PROMO ON “AMERICAN IDOL” (“4 CELEBRITIES. BLIND AUDITIONS. SPINNING CHAIRS. BUT IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK”)
-- THE ONLY PROBLEM IS: WHAT KIND OF SO-CALLED “CELEBRITY” IS WILLING TO DEGRADE THEMSELVES LIKE THIS? – NONE YOU CARE ABOUT, THAT’S FOR SURE -- EXPECT TO SEE FORMER CONTESTANTS ON “DANCING WITH THE STARS”, FINALISTS ON SINGING SHOWS, & WASHED UP KID STARS FROM 1980s SITCOMS – BUT IT HAS TO BE SAID: DATING SHOWS—EVEN WHEN THERE’S NO RECOGNIZABLE NAMES INVOLVED—GET MASSIVE RATINGS – AND FOX-TV CAN’T RESIST THE IDEA OF WOMEN DRESSED UP IN BOOTY CLOTHES, YANKING EACH OTHER’S HAIR OUT TO FIND A MAN
-- AND THERE’S STILL MORE ON THE WAY -- THIS SUMMER, CBS WILL DEBUT “3”, A REALITY DATING SERIES INVOLVING 3 WOMEN AS THEY “SEARCH FOR LOVE” – IT’LL BE CBS’s FIRST DATING SERIES SINCE SIMON COWELL’S “CUPID” FAILED SO MISERABLY 9 YEARS AGO -- IT WAS CANCELED AFTER JUST 8 EPISODES…
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Thursday 5/3
SIMON COWELL LOVES TO SEE “THE X FACTOR” IN THE NEWS – TOO BAD IT’S NEVER DUE TO THE PERFORMERS -- THE ONLY TIME ANYONE EVER TALKS ABOUT THE SHOW IS WHEN IT COMES TO THE JUDGES – YESTERDAY, THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER SAID (QUOTE) “WE’VE LEARNED THAT POP STAR DEMI LOVATO IS CLOSING A DEAL TO JOIN BRITNEY SPEARS IN THE SEATS VACATED BY NICOLE SCHERZINGER (sure-ZINGER) AND PAULA ABDUL AFTER SEASON ONE”
-- THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT THE DEAL ISN’T DONE YET, AND COWELL IS ALSO CONSIDERING MILEY CYRUS INSTEAD OF DEMI – THIS MUCH IS KNOWN: SIMON NEEDS YOUNGER VIEWERS, SO EITHER ONE OF THEM WOULD WORK -- PLUS THE 2 GIRLS—AT ONE TIME FRIENDS—NOW HATE EACH OTHER, SO THE STORY’S A NATURAL FOR THE TABLOIDS -- IF MILEY WINS, THEN THE GOSSIP MAGAZINES CAN WORRY IF DEMI IS GOING TO HAVE A RELAPSE
-- THE ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER JUST WEIGHED IN WITH HIS OPINION – HE SAYS “I WONDER IF BEING ON NATIONAL TV TWICE A WEEK IS GOOD FOR DEMI OR NOT. IT COULD BE GREAT IF SHE REALIZES SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AND DOESN’T START THINKING ABOUT DIETING AND HER BODY ISSUES. WHILE MILEY IS A FAR BETTER SINGER, SHE’S FALLEN OUT OF FAVOR WITH AMERICAN AUDIENCES. ALSO, DO YOU REALLY WANT MILEY AND BRITNEY SPEARS ON THE SAME PANEL? HOW MANY YA’LL’S CAN YOU TAKE IN ONE HOUR?” -- WHILE FOX TV WON’T COMMENT, THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE SIMON WILL REVEAL HIS DECISION MAY 14th, WHEN HE’S DUE TO MEET WITH POTENTIAL ADVERTISERS…e ]zo h heir most dedicated animal keeper on the job. He has only one responsibility: Keep the little monkey healthy.
(GUIZHOU, CHINA) A dedicated zookeeper went to unusual and disgusting lengths to help out a constipated monkey. The employee at Wuhan Zoo in China kissed the monkey’s butt – for an entire hour without stopping -- until it passed a peanut. That single peanut was clogging the monkey’s pipes. This species of monkey is extremely rare and under special protection. Therefore the zoo placed their most dedicated animal keeper on the job. He has only one responsibility: Keep the little monkey healthy.
While there was plenty of bad news in the NFL yesterday with the death of Junior Seau [pr: SAY-ow] and the latest suspensions related to bounty-gate, there was also some heart-warming news.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers signed Eric LeGrand to an honorary contract. It's only a symbolic gesture. He won't receive a salary, but the team is sending him a contract, helmet and a number-52 jersey.
The Rutgers defensive tackle was paralyzed in a game against Army in October 201 when he broke two vertebrae and suffered a serious spinal cord injury.
Source: AP
(SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA) Did you even know that there’s a Guinness World Record for the fastest motorized toilet? Former motocross champion Jolene Van Vugt steered her porcelain throne to speeds upward of 46 miles per hour. She told reporters afterward (quote) “That was so fun and I'm stoked to get the record. I flew into Australia yesterday and came out here to jump straight on the toilet.” (end quote)
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Wed. 5/2
The Father-Daughter Gumtree Ball benefiting Le Bonheur Children's Hospital is coming up Saturday June 23 at the BancorpSouth Arena! For ticket information call Connie at 840-2389 or e-mail connie.haygood@lebonheur.org
A Maryland man called cops to report that he wanted them to smoke out three guys who robbed his apartment -- and stole his stash of pot. The victim, a student at the University of Maryland, called 911 to report that the armed men pushed their way into the place he shared with four roommates and demanded money, then began ransacking the joint before fleeing in one of the roomie's cars. A 911 tape of the incident captures the caller saying, "I woke up to someone walking into my room, and asking me where my drugs and money were. He took my weed." Source: WJLA
A pair of boozed-up Floridians didn't want to risk putting their seven-year-old granddaughter in the car when they drove home -- so they decided to tow her behind it, sitting in her own toy car. Paul and Belinda Berloni were charged with child endangerment after cops spotted the little girl, wearing a swimsuit, but no helmet, riding in the Hot Wheels vehicle, which was tied to their SUV with a dog leash.Paul, who was piloting the bigger vehicle at about 10 miles per hour, acknowledged that he'd been drinking -- and that he did not have a valid license. According to the police report, Belinda was also wasted, and admitted she knew the stunt was dangerous, but said they were "just having fun." Source: Sarasota Herald-Tribune
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Friday 4/27
for info on the Alpha House 4 man scramble golf tournement call 841-9009 or e-mail... anna@alphahouse.org
Neither rain nor snow nor dark of night could keep a Louisiana man from running over his neighbors' mailboxes for kicks -- then defending himself by saying he didn't know it was illegal. Matthew Burghardt initially came to the attention of cops after his next door neighbor called cops to say that she'd just seen him topple her mailbox -- and she recognized him perfectly well, since they'd lived side by side for 15 years. As they were talking, another deputy swung by the scene to say he was investigating a handful of reports of downed boxes as well. When questioned, Burghardt didn't deny the action, but simply said he didn't know there was a law against it. He demanded a written summons, but instead got hauled off to jail. Source: New Orleans Times-Picayune
A New Mexico man capped off an evening of impersonating a cop by forcing a teenager to hand over his baseball cap, then peeing in it. Joseph Hannah allegedly pulled up alongside a group of teenagers who were playing ball and identified himself as a cop while holding a gun. Hannah demanded that one of the boys hand over his hat, and proceeded to soil it. The boy said, "He's got the gun and he tells me to give me your hat, so you know I take it off and give it to him and he just pees on my hat." Hannah had equipped his Ford Mustang with flashing lights before embarking on his not-so-excellent adventure, which also included pulling over cars driven by women he considered attractive in order to ask for dates. He faces charges of impersonating an officer and false imprisonment Source: Huffington Post
THIS WEEKEND, THE MOVIE STUDIOS PREDICT THAT MOST AMERICANS WILL BE AT THE THEATERS WATCHING “THE FIVE-YEAR ENGAGEMENT” STARRING JASON SEGEL AND EMILY BLUNT
-- NEXT WEEK, THERE’S NO DOUBT THAT WE’LL BE WATCHING “THE AVENGERS” – THAT IS, IF YOU CAN GET A TICKET – THE ALL-STAR CAST OF ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR, CHRIS EVANS, CHRIS HEMSWORTH, SCARLETT JOHANSSON, JEREMY RENNER AND MARK RUFFALO IS SURE TO ATTRACT HUGE CROWDS -- “THE AVENGERS” HAS CRITICS RAVING, AND IN EUROPE AND ASIA IT IS ALREADY PLAYING TO SOLD OUT THEATERS – HERE IN THE UNTIED STATES, ADVANCE TICKET SALES HAVE SURPASSED THE PREVIOUS MARVEL COMIC MOVIES – THE ONLY QUESTION REMAINS IS IF “THE AVENGERS” CAN OVERTAKE “THE HUNGER GAMES” FOR THE BIGGEST OPENING WEEKEND OF THE YEAR [$152 MILLION]…
MTV HAS ANNOUNCED THEIR PREMIERE DATE FOR THE “JERSEY SHORE” SPIN-OFF STARRING SNOOKI AND J-WOWW – MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THURSDAY JUNE 21st, IN THE SAME TIME SLOT AS THE ORIGINAL – MTV NOW CALLS IT “JERZDAYS”
-- ‘SNOOKI & J-WOWW’ FOLLOWS THE TWO BFFs AS THEY MOVE INTO AN APARTMENT TOGETHER AND THEN SNOOKI DROPS THE BOMB: “I AM PREGNANT” – THE TRAILER HINTS AT FRICTION BETWEEN THE WOMEN, AS J-WOWW WANTS THINGS TO STAY THE SAME WHEN IT’S OBVIOUS THAT SNOOKI’S MOVING IN A NEW PHASE – SHE ADMITS (QUOTE) “PREGNANCY JUST MADE ME MORE MATURE. IT'S DIFFERENT BECAUSE NOW I'M NOT DRINKING. I'M USUALLY PARTYING AND GOING TO CLUBS BUT PREGNANCY MADE ME GROW UP A LOT”
--THEN -- WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT -- SHE SAYS SOMETHING SO STUPID THAT IT COULD ONLY COME OUT OF SNOOKI’S MOUTH (QUOTE) “HONESTLY, I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD MAKE A BABY, SO THE FACT I CAN REPRODUCE IS SCARY” – AN ENTIRE NATION AGREES
-- IN OTHER “JERSEY SHORE” NEWS: THERE’S SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENING TO PAULY-D – HE WAS OUT ON THE RED CARPET IN LAS VEGAS – BUT HE WAS MUCH HEAVIER THAN NORMAL – HIS PUBLICIST TRIED TO SPIN IT AS “BEEFIER” (QUOTE) ‘HE'S GAINED 20 POUNDS OF MUSCLE. HE IS EXERCISING NON-STOP, SOMETIMES THREE TIMES A DAY” -- BUT IN REALITY HE’S PROBABLY BEEN EATING 20 POUNDS A DAY AND THAT BLOATED LOOK IS FROM TOO MANY LATE NIGHTS OF VODKA & RED BULL…
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Thursday 4/26
For info on the Wounded Warrior Softball weekend call 841-6521
When it comes to his famous daughter's family, Jon Voight thinks six is enough. Angelina Jolie's formerly estranged dad says he happy about her upcoming wedding toBrad Pitt, but doesn't think she should add to her brood. Jon tells Radar Online, "I love kids, [but] six is quite a group, you know."
Brad and Angie are the parents of Maddox, 10, Pax, 8, Zahara, 7, Shiloh, 5, and twinsKnox and Vivienne, 3.
(TOKYO, JAPAN) The human brain operates like a super-computer. So a group of geeks wondered just how much “memory” is inside the average brain—if measured in the units of computers. Neuro-scientists estimate the human storage capacity somewhere between 10 terabytes and 100 terabytes (About the same data as a 2-hour 3-D movie)
One terabyte is equal to about 1,000 gigabytes or about 1 million megabytes.
Victoria’s Secret is giving away free undies. Just visit the Victoria’s Secret Facebook page for all the details and the coupon that needs to be printed. Shoppers on Saturday will be rewarded with a free pair of “Angel Panties” along with any purchase (online or inside a Victoria’s Secret store).
DESPITE OUR PLEDGE TO CUT DOWN ON THE ENDLESS LINDSAY LOHAN COVERAGE, THIS MAY BE THE MOST ASTONISHING NEWS OF THE YEAR – LINDSAY LOHAN HAS BEEN INVITED TO THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS EVENT IN WASHINGTON EACH YEAR, THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS’ DINNER
-- THE MOST OBVIOUS QUESTION IS “WHO THE HELL INVITED HER?” – IT WASN’T THE PRESIDENT – DURING THE LAST ELECTION CAMPAIGN IN 2008, LINDSAY OFFERED HER SERVICES TO OBAMA, AND WAS QUICKLY REJECTED – OBAMA TOLD THE CHICAGO SUN-TIMES SHE WAS “NOT EXACTLY THE KIND OF HIGH-PROFILE STAR WHO’D BE A POSITIVE FOR US”
– AS IT TURNS OUT, THE INVITATION CAME FROM FOX NEWS’ RESIDENT SCIENTOLOGIST GRETA VAN SUSTEREN – AND IT HAD TO BE APPROVED BY HER BOSS – SO WHY WOULD FOX NEWS INVITE LOHAN? ONE INSIDER SAID “WELL, SHE’S A W.M.D.” – A WHAT? -- “A W.M.D: A WEAPON OF MASS DISTRACTION”…
*THESE DINNERS ARE ESSENTIALLY CELEBRITY ROASTS -- AND WHILE THERE’LL BE NO SHORTAGE OF JOKES ABOUT THE SECRET SERVICE, THE ROOM WILL BE PACKED FULL OF LIBERAL JOURNALISTS -- FOX NEWS ALREADY KNOWS THEY’LL BE TARGETED (THEY WERE LAST YEAR) -- THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT FOX NEWS DOESN’T PERFORM A VALUABLE SERVICE: THEY’RE AN ESSENTIAL COUNTERPOINT TO THE BILL MAHERS AND THE JON STEWARTS OF THE WORLD – BUT INVITING LOHAN WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY BE A DISASTER FOR HER
– HER EGO IS ALREADY THE SIZE OF MT RUSHMORE (AND FOR NO GOOD REASON, SHE HASN’T MADE A DECENT MOVIE SINCE “MEAN GIRLS” IN 2005) – AND WITH THAT FILM’S STRONG SUPPORTING CAST AS WELL AS A BRILLIANT SCREENPLAY BY TINA FEY, VIRTUALLY ANY ACTRESS COULD’VE STEPPED INTO HER SHOES – BUT LET’S NOT TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM LOHAN – IT WAS THE PERFORMANCE OF HER CAREER (WHICH IS NOW ALL BUT OVER)
-- FORGET THIS TALK ABOUT HER “COMEBACK” PLAYING THE LATE LIZ TAYLOR IN A LIFETIME MOVIE OF THE WEEK – IN OTHER WORDS, ALL THAT’S LEFT FOR HER IS THE JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT NETWORK -- AND IT NEEDS TO BE SAID THAT LINDSAY’S TRAGIC FALL IS NOT ALL HER DOING: MOST OF THE BLAME HAS TO GO TO HER MOTHER (WHO’S MADE THE DECISIONS THAT’VE BROUGHT HER TO THIS POINT) – DINA LOHAN’S BASIC ATTITUDE TOWARDS LINDSAY HAS BEEN “IF SHE DIES, SHE DIES. I’LL BE VERY, VERY SAD, BUT IN THE END, IT’LL ONLY MAKE ME MORE FAMOUS” – CARE TO DISPUTE THAT?
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Wed. 4/25
Golf Tourney for Le Bonheur in Tunica Tuesday! For info call 662-538-4002
A Romanian cop wasn't exactly using his head when he cited a motorcycle passenger for not wearing a helmet -- but giving her a free pass on having the rest of her body completely uncovered as well. Passing motorists stopped to photograph the ticketing process and eavesdrop as the woman was given a warning to cover up ... her head. She did, then climbed back on the bike and rode off nude from the neck down. The officer said the helmet violation was the only thing he was authorized to ticket for. Source: Orange News (U.K.)
Three boozed-up bros hatched a pretty bird-brained plan when they broke into Sea World Australia and stole a penguin from its sanctuary. The men filmed the whole thing and sent the evidence to a local TV station, later claiming it was all a drunken prank After pilfering the penguin, the men passed out and then tried to toss the poor bird into a local waterway "known to have sharks." The penguin was found, stressed out, but uninjured, and returned to the wildlife park. The men have been charged with trespassing, stealing and unlawfully keeping a protected animal. Source: Huffington Post
WE NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SAY THIS, BUT WE’RE IN TOTAL AGREEMENT WITH ROSIE O’DONNELL IN HER OPINION OF LINDSAY LOHAN -- ROSIE ISN’T THE ONLY ONE SICK & TIRED OF HEARING PEOPLE MINDLESSLY REPEAT THE STATEMENT THAT LINDSAY HAS PROBLEMS “BUT SHE’S A GOOD ACTRESS” -- ROSIE WAS PART OF A PANEL ON THE ‘TODAY’ SHOW YESTERDAY, AND SAID LINDSAY HASN’T DONE ANY DECENT ACTING SINCE SHE WAS 16 (EXCEPT IN COURTROOMS) -- CHILD STARS DON’T ALWAYS GROW UP TO BE BRILLIANT ACTORS -- LOHAN WAS HIRED TO PLAY THE LATE LIZ TAYLOR NOT FOR ANY SKILLS SHE HAS, BUT TO BRING ATTENTION AND PUBLICITY TO THE MOVIE – THE NERVOUS PRODUCER ADMITS SHE’S “THE MOST INSURED ACTRESS EVER” AND SAYS THEY’RE MOVING THE LOCATION FROM CANADA TO L.A. TO INCREASE THE ODDS SHE’LL SHOW UP ON TIME -- BEST MOMENT ON THE SHOW: WHEN ANOTHER PANELIST CALLED LINDSAY (QUOTE) “OUR GENERATION’S ELIZABETH TAYLOR” -- ROSIE SCREAMED “YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR MIND. YOU’RE A CRACKHEAD!” – SHE’S RIGHT: AND THIS MOVIE’S BOUND TO BE A CRACKTASTROPHE.
*WHILE IT’S TOO LATE TO SAVE LINDSAY, TIME IS ALSO RUNNING OUT FOR HER KID SISTER (ALI) – EVER SINCE SHE WAS HIRED BY A MODELING AGENCY, SHE’S LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT, SHE LOOKS ANOREXIC – HER IDIOT FATHER SAYS “SHE’S NOT DOING IT BECAUSE OF ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS. SHE’S DOING IT TO BE A MODEL” – AS IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE – IN OTHER WORDS, IF SHE’S ANOREXIC FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL REASONS, THAT’S BAD. BUT FOR HER CAREER, IT’S ABSOLUTELY FINE – MAYBE AFTER LINDSAY CRASHES AND BURNS, HE CAN START MAKING MONEY OFF HER SISTER.
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Tuesday 4/24
A new survey about cars has confirmed what we've known all along: Men want brawny and flashy cars, while women want imports and smaller vehicles.
Female buyers gravitate toward smaller, more fuel-efficient cars and crossovers. And, it's the complete opposite for guys, who want fast and sporty vehicles, big trucks and SUVs, and luxury cars. (Forbes)
It's official! Lindsay Lohan will be playing as Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime movie Liz and Dick.
The network finally made the announcement yesterday. Executive producer Larry Thompson tells E! News, "We have wanted Lindsay from day one. She had a lot in her life that was going on. We needed to give her time to take care of her business, and while we negotiated the deal for her we prayed for her -- and wonderfully she has behaved. She's cleared herself and we're ready to start this movie."
This will be Lindsay's first leading role since 2009's Labor Pains. Liz and Dick begins filming June 4th and is set to air on Lifetime in October.
Keith Urban Opry induction...
(NAPLES, FLORIDA) Stealing soda from a McDonald’s is a felony offense. Mark Abaire was charged with swiping Coca-Cola from the McDonald’s fountain machine.
The cashier gave him an empty cup for “water”, but Mark filled it with Coke. At most, the soda was worth a buck. However, because of Mark’s long criminal record (quote) “the charge for drinking the unpaid soda was increased from a misdemeanor to a felony.”
(WINSTON-SALEM, NORTH CAROLINA) You are more photogenic on the left side of your face.
Researchers at Wake Forest University dedicated weeks of study to determine this important tidbit (quote) “Our results suggest that posers’ left cheeks tend to exhibit a greater intensity of emotion, which observers find more visually pleasing.” Therefore, when a camera is pointed in your direction, be sure to turn to the right and show off your left cheek. Your Facebook friends will ‘like’ these images more than the reverse angle.
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Monday 4/23
In the three years since Carrie Underwood last released an album, she put out duets with Brad Paisley, Tony Bennett and Randy Travis. She also appeared in the movie Soul Surfer, performed at the Super Bowl's Fan Jam and was honored as one of the ACM'sSuperstar Women of Country Music for being the first woman to win Entertainer of the Year twice. But Carrie says she did relax more in 2011 and just enjoyed being a newlywed.
The Hunger Games was finally defeated at the box office. Two newcomers -- Think Like a Man and The Lucky One -- bumped the blockbuster to third over the weekend.
The comedy Think Like a Man -- based on Steve Harvey's book -- was number-one with $33 million.
The Zac Efron romantic drama The Lucky One was second with $22.8 million.
The Hunger Games, which was number-one for four straight weekends, fell to third with $14.5 million. The action flick, which has banked $357 million, is now the 19th highest grossing movie of all time.
The documentary Chimpanzee opened in fourth with $10.2 million.
The Three Stooges dropped from second to fifth with $9.2 million.
Kenny Chesney, The Band Perry and Zac Brown Band will take part in the Today show's summer concert series on NBC. According to Today's website, The Band Perry kicks things off on June 1st, with Kenny following on June 22nd. Zac Brown Band takes the stage on July 13th.
Other artists performing in the series include Justin Bieber, Flo Rida, Hot Chelle Rae and Train. Additional acts will be announced throughout the season.
(TORONTO, CANADA) Harlequin surveyed their readers to find an overwhelming majority are confident their love life is improving. Over 40% admit to texting on a regular basis. But a word of caution: A large percentage of sexts are sent to the wrong person.
Blame it on the contact list shortcut. When in a hurry, it’s too easy to send a call, text, or sext to the person just before or after the intended recipient. That’s how so many mistakes are made: Just like a teenage boy in bed the first time with a girl, sexters can send a kinky message “prematurely”.
Women tend to send more sexts to partners than men
Upward of 11% of sexts are delivered to the wrong number
16% admitted they’ve sexted a family member… accidentally
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Friday 4/20
An Arkansas man is being grilled over a botched convenience store robbery -- which he tried to pull off using a pair of tongs. Rene Jackson entered the J-Mart unarmed, but quickly spotted his weapon of choice near the hot dog grill and grabbed it before an employee could stop him. He threatened an employee and a customer with the tongs, but was so intoxicated that neither took him seriously enough to fork over any cash. Jackson, who was charged with attempted robbery, told cops he pulled the stunt because he was tired of being disrespected by his wife and children. Source: Huffington Post
A Florida felon who isn't likely to get a brief sentence is in police custody after getting tripped up by his boxers. Marvin Leonard Morris attempted to flee from cops on foot after a car chase ended with him crashing into a tree. He started to make some headway, but then suffered a wardrobe malfunction when his baggy shorts got a little bit too loose and fell to his ankles, causing him to tumble to the ground. Morris was racked up on several charges, including possession of cocaine, attempting to elude an officer at high speed and driving while his license was revoked. Source: Orlando Sentinel
I saw this movie last night... Loved it!!! very funny!
OKAY, SO NOW IT’S COME TO THIS – AS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, WASHED-UP, OVER-THE-HILL, BARELY-REMEMBERED FORMER ROCK STAR TED NUGENT IS
SO DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION, HE JUST GOT A VISIT FROM THE SECRET SERVICE – NUGENT IS A STAUNCH REPUBLICAN, WHO LOVES HIS GUNS – SO WHAT? SO ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE – BUT AT AN N.R.A. MEETING LAST WEEKEND, THIS DUMBASS SAID “IF BARACK OBAMA IS RE-ELECTED IN NOVEMBER, I’LL EITHER BE DEAD OR IN JAIL BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR” – THEN HE COMPARED THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION TO “COYOTES” WHO NEEDED TO BE SHOT, ADDING “WE NEED TO CHOP THEIR HEADS OFF”
-- SO YESTERDAY, BEFORE A CONCERT IN OKLAHOMA, THERE WAS A KNOCK ON HIS DOOR – YES, IT WAS 2 SECRET SERVICE AGENTS – AFTERWARDS, NUGENT SAID “IT WAS A GOOD, SOLID MEETING, CONCLUDING THAT I’VE NEVER MADE ANY THREATS OF VIOLENCE TOWARDS ANYONE”
– WELL, IT’S NICE TO SEE THE SECRET SERVICE (BARELY) DOING THEIR JOBS: YOU ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THE SCANDAL GOING ON -- 3 SECRET SERVICE AGENTS HAVE BEEN FIRED, AND MANY MORE WILL FOLLOW, AFTER A GROUP OF THESE PROTECTORS OF THE PRESIDENT HIRED ABOUT 20 HOOKERS, AND ONE OF THEM DIDN’T PAY THE LADY – THEY’RE TRYING TO MAKE THE CASE THAT, SINCE PROSTITUTION IS LEGAL IN THE PART OF COLOMBIA THEY WERE IN, THEY DIDN’T BREAK ANY RULES – PLUS THEY DID IT ON THEIR OWN “FREE TIME” – BUT WHEN THEY’RE ON ASSIGNMENT IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY, THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS FREE TIME -- THEY’RE ON 24/7 -- THE WALL STREET JOURNAL SAYS THE UNOFFICIAL MOTTO OF THE SECRET SERVICE IS “WHEELS UP, RINGS OFF” – IN OTHER WORDS, ONCE THE PLANE TAKES OFF, IT’S SPRING BREAK FOR EVERYONE…
Kelli & Roadkill Bill Morning Blog Thursday 4/19
Last night's American Idol began with a tribute from host Ryan Seacrest to his late mentor, and friend, Dick Clark. Then the Top 7 performed number-one hits from the 2000-to-2012 Billboard charts, and soul classics.
Hollie Cavanagh kicked things off with Adele's "Rolling in the Deep." The judges said she's back in the competition. Hollie followed with a performance of Dusty Springfield's "Son of a Preacher Man."
Skylar Laine rocked a country version of Lady Gaga's "Born this Way." Jennifer Lopez said, "A more perfect song for you does not exist." Skylar followed with Marvin Gaye's "I Heard It Through the Grapevine."
Colton Dixon brought the bravado for Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." He followed with an underwhelming performance of Earth Wind and Fire's "September."
Elise Testone did "No One" by Alicia Keys. J-Lo said, "You gave me my first goosies of the night." Elise followed with Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On." Steven Tyler told her to "take it up a notch."
Joshua Ledet brought out his inner diva for Fantasia's "I Believe." He followed with a strong performance of Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come."
Phillip Phillips blew the judges away a raspy rendition of Usher's "U Got It Bad." He followed with a solid performance of "In the Midnight Hour" by Wilson Pickett. Steven pointed out that Phillip's leg-jerking dance was "perfectly awkward."
Jessica Sanchez did "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys. Randy Jackson cried, "holla at the dawg!" Jessica followed with a roof-raising rendition of Otis Redding's "Try a Little Tenderness."
A Georgia man was clearly having a "ruff" afternoon when cops swung by his house to give him a ticket for violating his town's noise laws -- by barking loud enough to disturb a neighbor more than 100 yards away.
The man, who was intoxicated when cops arrived, denied that he was making any noise at all, and when asked to present identification so that a citation could be written, he replied that some people called him The Holy Lamb of God.
The man refused to sign the citation, police said. Source: Athens Banner-Herald
An Idaho man is probably battling a severe case of indigestion after getting arrested over a Facebook photo that shows him getting gas -- by siphoning it out of a police cruiser.
Michael Baker and his girlfriend posted the picture, which shows him sitting next to the car with a siphon in one hand and a middle finger flipping from the other one. While his girlfriend said the whole thing was just staged for a laugh, Baker admits, "I got a little bit of gas. I ain't gonna lie but not much. I couldn't get much. I tried but there wasn't much in it."
Baker, who faces a hefty fine, says he's "not really" sorry for the theft. Source: WKYT
Brace yourself: The ingredients exist for a spike in the cost of a bottle of wine. Not only is there higher demand, but a grape shortage in California will almost certainly force prices to climb, according to a wine industry report.
(CHICAGO, ILLINOIS) The Chin has replaced Boobs. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons claims that “chin jobs” are the fastest-growing cosmetic option. A person with a strong chin is seen as more authoritative and commands a higher salary. You’ll also look younger with a strong chin and less “turkey gobble” hanging underneath.
Jamie Moyer became the oldest pitcher in Major League Baseball history, at age 49, to win a game. Since his first win –- way back on June 16th 1986 -- Jamie Moyer has faced 8% of all hitters who’ve ever played Major League ball (which started in 1876).
ACCORDING TO THE NEW ISSUE OF “IN TOUCH WEEKLY”, JENNIFER LOPEZ IS “HELL BENT ON TURNING HER BOY TOY INTO A PLAYBOY” WHICH IS WHY SHE’S “BLOWN” $2 MILLION DOLLARS ON CASPER SMART [USING THE WORD “BLOWN” IN A HEADLINE TO DESCRIBE WHAT A WOMAN’S DONE TO HER YOUNG LOVER, WELL, THAT’S INTERESTING LANGUAGE] – WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SCANDALIZED THAT J-LO HAS SPENT $50,000 ON A CAR, $12,000 ON CLOTHES AND $10,000 ON TRIPS FOR HER BOYFRIEND – THAT’S NOT COUNTING THE $4,000 A WEEK HE MAKES AS HER (QUOTE) ‘ARTISTIC DIRECTOR’
-- BUT SERIOUSLY, HOW MANY RICH OLDER MEN HAVE DONE THE EXACT SAME THING FOR YOUNG GIRLS SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME? -- IT'S J-LO’S MONEY, LET HER SPEND IT HOW SHE LIKES…
